


With Shaking Hands

by captainflintsjacket



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Major Character Injury, Major character death - Freeform, Violence, description of injury, seriously there's so much angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-29
Updated: 2019-08-29
Packaged: 2020-09-29 18:54:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20440859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captainflintsjacket/pseuds/captainflintsjacket
Summary: Based on the prompt: "Leave a “Kill Me” in my ask, and I’ll write a drabble about one character killing another."





	With Shaking Hands

The ship was quiet except for the dull hum of the engines below. The entire deck was bathed in the deep red light of the emergency generators. It made the silence all the more sinister as Jim worked his way up the hallway. He traced his fingers on the metal plating of the wall as he walked towards Medbay, leaving behind a trail of blood. Someone raced down the hall beside him, but Jim didn’t look up, mind focused on only one thing: Leonard McCoy.

It was easy to find him buzzing around Medbay, jumping from patient to patient as he decided which one required the most urgent attention. He froze when he caught sight of Jim, blood trickling down his face from a cut on his cheek. “Come with me,” Leonard said, shepherding Jim into an exam room. “Sit down.” Jim didn’t.

He followed Bones to the counter where all the medical supplies were kept. His eyes trailed over Leonard’s body, devoid of all emotion he once held for his best friend. He stood too close, making Leonard look up at Jim as he pulled a tricorder out. Bones took a step back, bumping into the counter. Jim followed, crowding his space, dragging a hand up Leonard’s arm, behind his head. In his hair. He pulled too hard and Bones winced, but Jim’s expression didn’t change. His face remained stoic even as he jerked Leonard’s head to the side before slamming it back against the cabinets behind him.

Leonard cried out at the impact, his vision blurring and his knees buckling. His arm latched onto the counter, supporting his weight and offsetting the tug of Jim’s hand in his hair. Bones tried to push Jim off, but his grip on Bones’ hair was too tight, so Bones opened his mouth to speak instead. Jim slammed Leonard’s head back against the counter again before Bones could get a word out.

Leonard’s legs gave out completely, and he slumped against the counter, head spinning but still holding onto consciousness. Jim let go of Leonard’s hair, bringing a fist around and slamming it into Leonard’s stomach. From there, it was a flurry of fists and skin. A hook to the face, a knee to the stomach, a foot to the jaw.

Leonard pulled himself across the floor toward the cabinet with the hypos. There would be one preloaded with a sedative. All he had to do was reach it, but Jim’s boot came down across Leonard’s face again with a crack that echoed in the otherwise silent room and pain shot through Leonard’s nose. Jim’s foot came down again on Leonard’s ribs once, twice, three times, hitting the same spot with lethal precision. Leonard felt every second of the combat courses Jim had taken at the academy.

“Please, Jim,” Leonard choked out around the blood in his mouth. “This isn’t you. This is Khan. You can fight him. You’re better than-” Bones grunted as Jim dropped on top of him, straddling his waist and knocking the air from Leonard’s lungs. Jim slammed his fist into Leonard’s face again, spraying blood across the pristine tile floors. Leonard didn’t even raise his arms.

“You won’t even fight back? No wonder Jocelyn walked away with Jo. I bet you didn’t fight for her either,” Jim yelled. His voice bounced off the walls, echoing back in his ears with venom that felt foreign.

Bones closed his eyes, keeping his face unreadable. “You’re my friend, Jim. I’m not going to hurt you.”

“You’re a coward.” Another crack of skin on skin. “You’ll die a coward.”

Leonard turned his head to spit the blood from his mouth. When he turned back, he focused his eyes as best he could to meet Jim’s. They were colder and darker, but the same blue Leonard had fallen in love with. “Then you’ll have to kill me a coward, Jimbo.”

Jim’s fist faltered a moment at the pet name, but he stared down at Leonard with nothing but contempt. Love was a fool’s emotion. Love was fleeting. Love was weakness. Leonard proved it. He wasn’t even fighting back. He was just lying there. It was weak. It was useless. He didn’t deserve to live. Jim brought his fist down against Leonard’s face. “Weak,” he said, punctuating each word with another punch. “Weak. Stupid. Useless.”

“You’re not weak,” Leonard said, always able to read Jim’s insecurities. Jim faltered again, glaring down at Leonard. “You’re not stupid.”

“Shut up.”

“You’re not useless.”

“I said shut up,” Jim shouted, hitting Leonard again, but with less force.

“Hit me all you want,” Bones said, “I’m not giving up on you yet. I’m not gonna leave you here looking all pathetic.”

A memory flashed through Jim’s mind. Red uniforms. Ship assignments. Jim was grounded until his hearing was over, but Bones smuggled him on board the Enterprise anyway. Bones risked his career and his credibility to help Jim. His voice rang through Jim’s head. I couldn’t just leave you there looking all pathetic.

Jim shook his head, forcing the memory out. He stood and grabbed a pair of scissors off the counter. He fell back onto Bones, who saw the scissors in Jim’s hand but still made no move to stop him. Jim moved one hand around Leonard’s throat, squeezing as he leaned forward. Their faces were only centimeters apart and his breath ghosted over Leonard’s face as he spoke. “You’re pathetic.” Jim pulled back again, clutching the scissors with both hands. The blades caught the light, reflecting sharply in Leonard’s eyes as they shot through the air and cut through the blue of Leonard’s uniform and the skin of his chest. He grunted at the impact and bit back a scream as Jim pulled the scissors out and thrust them back down again, this time into Leonard’s shoulder. He sank the scissors erratically into Leonard again and again, until every shred of blue on Leonard’s chest was stained.

Jim fell off of Leonard then, breathing heavily. He studied Leonard’s face, lifeless eyes still up and searching for Jim. He sat up on his knees, leaning over Leonard’s body. The fog in his mind began to lift, replaced with blind panic. What had he done? “Bones,” Jim said, voice cracking with both guilt and grief. “Bones.” He pressed a hand gingerly to Leonard’s face. “Leonard, please.” Jim wiped away his tears with the back of his hand, smearing Leonard’s blood across his cheeks. A sob tore from his throat, echoing mockingly in the room. “I need you, Bones. I can’t - I…I’m sorry.” Jim pulled Leonard’s head into his lap, rocking gently as he sobbed. He said Leonard’s name like a prayer. Bones. Bones. Bones. Bones. Bones.

“Jim,” Bones responded sharply.

Jim’s eyes shot back open, darting from Leonard’s smooth, unscathed face to the living quarters around him. He scrambled out of bed, looking first at his shaking hands then the clean sheets. He closed his eyes, seeing only Leonard’s broken body sprawled across his lap, and swallowed another sob. He heard the bed springs shift as Leonard stood. Then, a heavy arm wrapped around Jim’s shoulders. Jim focused on that. On the soft hand in his hair. Lips against the side of his head. Jim buried his face into the crook of Leonard’s neck, breathing in the smell of him, like linen and anti-bacterial soap. Jim could smell himself on Leonard, no doubt from being wrapped around each other all night. It broke him.

“I’m right here, sugar,” Bones said, pulling Jim’s shaking frame closer. “I’ve got you, Jim. I’ve got you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on Tumblr @trade-baby-blues


End file.
